The Importance of Sacrifice

by Kelly on December 31, 2010

Snow worries? Be happy !

Throughout this past year and as we head into a new one, I am humbled by all that I have been blessed with and all that I have done.

Still yet, I find sacrifice a constant theme, revisited over and over.

It never gets easier to leave the things, the people and the jobs you love behind to go in hunt of passion. Never.  And as I gear up to plan a very, very important trip to Thailand in a mere two months, I am once again reminded of all I am leaving behind.

More often than not, the things you give up find a way of coming back to you.

Still yet, there is the constant fear in the back of my mind saying : “What if it doesn’t?”

  • How many times can you ask your significant other to sit patiently on the sidelines and wait for you to get your fill of adventure?
  • How many times can you keep asking your employers to take you back?
  • How many times can you gamble all your earnings on travel?
  • How many times can you ask your family to support your choices?

I don’t know.. and yet, I’m also not particularly worried about it. I have faith that the important things will come back, and the things that don’t… well, maybe they weren’t so important after all.

When I first decided to start traveling, I did it for myself and myself alone.  I was freshly 21, looking for adventure with no-strings attached and that’s exactly what I found.

But now it seems the older I get, the more and more things I have to sacrifice to get to what I want.

My decisions are weighed down by the realities of jobs, bills, boyfriends, dogs …  and I feel the inevitable twist of a knife in my heart in knowing deep down that I will once again leave all of these things behind, throw my cares to the wind and JUMP.

And it’s not so much even that I want to go… it’s that I have to go.

These days I feel a force bigger than me tugging at me from all sides, as if it’s got me by the earlobes and won’t let go until I listen and accept.

Mostly I feel guilt for leaving the ones I love behind. I know that I have to, they know that I have to, but it never really gets easier saying “Honey, I love you, but…”

Telling someone you love that you are leaving them to travel is hard on all sides.

Feelings of abandonment,  frustration and reluctant acceptance are forever constant and I get often frustrated and upset with myself in thinking that that those feelings were imposed on the relationships I value and the people I love, because of decisions I have made.

For those of you who travel with your significant other, rock on.

I would absolutely love the same experience. But the realities of the financial situation in my relationship mean that I have to make the choice to continue staying in a perfectly happy job with a perfectly lovely boyfriend, or put it all out on the line to search for something more.

And I don’t even know what that something is.

My mother asks me the other day what it is I’m hoping to find out there and I told her this:

“I have NO idea…but I know I’m on the right path. I want to see life, to live life, to know that I have experienced life, and not just stayed complacent because it was easy. I’m too damn hungry for that.”

So, as we head into a New Year I am going to forgive myself for the hurt my decisions have caused others, and simultaneously, allow myself the freedom of choice and of opportunity.

If not now… when?

The people that we love and value in life will always be present with us and we must always remember that. But happiness is not something that comes to those who sit around and hope for it– rather, it’s given to those who go out and find it.

Whether reading at home on a cold day, baking cookies for your relatives, trekking through the jungles of Vietnam, or dancing in your living room to Cindy Lauper…

Here’s to hoping we all find the things that make us happy, and are unafraid to make sacrifices to remain so..

xoxo

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Ayngelina December 31, 2010 at 5:18 pm

Wow this post really made me think. I guess mostly because I didn’t really see things as a sacrifice but I guess it was, I left my job, all my possessions and a relationship. The difficult thing is now I don’t see it as a sacrifice but something I was supposed to do.

I am a bit lucky in that my family has always lived several provinces away from me so they only see me twice a year. I didn’t think of it as leaving them.

Kelly December 31, 2010 at 5:27 pm

Thanks lady. It’s hard sometimes, to do the things we know we have to do. Esp when those things have unintended consequences on the ones we love.

Still yet, we have to do them. At least, I do. So here we go!

Happy New Year to you Ayngelina! I hope you celebrate it and enjoy where you are.. where are you again? hehe.

The NVR Guys December 31, 2010 at 10:35 pm

The choices that everyone is required to make in life can be difficult. When you contradict the collective or choose a path that differs from the dream others have for you, it can be especially difficult.

Following your passion is not selfish. Recognize that your decisions effect people (we are all caused and cause) but this should not keep you from following your passion. Leaning into what energizes you is going to be seen by many as an affront. Others, like parents, may just simply miss you (which is okay). And when it comes to partners, if you have to choose between your passion and your partner, you need to evaluate that relationship anyway.

Sacrifice is like breathing, you just have to do it. But like breathing, if you can bring some focus and intention to it, it can serve you in some pretty powerful ways.

Great post! Happy new year!

inka January 1, 2011 at 8:13 am

Living your passion is no sacrifice. I have no significent other because I want to remain free and independent. I left financial security behind a long time ago and I just own what I absolutely need. And I still survive and travel whenever the bug bites.

Caz Makepeace January 1, 2011 at 10:17 am

You cannot help others unless you first help yourself. By not making the sacrifices and embracing happiness, you remain at home bitter and unfulfilled– and how can that bring anyone else joy in your life.
This Christmas my whole family was together for the first time since 99. It was such a great time to have us all together again. My siblings and I are really close, yet we only see each other about once every 2- 3 years. This is what happens when you have a nomadic family, all intent on following and living their passions. My sister and brother left on Thursday and I felt really sad that we couldn’t spend more time together as it is always so great when we are. For a moment I wished we weren’t a nomadic family.
But then I thought about the other side of that coin. Maybe if we were around each other all the time,then we wouldn’t appreciate each other as much and the days spent together would just be another day instead of something so special. We savour every moment together and it is filled with laughter and story telling that just inspires us to be more and do more.
And then I thought, But who am I to hold them back from their dreams or them mine. I’m want to let them go, because they are spending every day living their passions and they are happy, and that makes me happy. So I will take that sacrifice of only seeing them every few years, and I will continue to rejoice in that life they are living well.
There are no rewards in life that don’t come with any sacrifices. Usually the bigger the sacrifice the greater the reward. Lately, I have spent many moments evaluating my life. I’m 35 have a child, live with my husband’s parents, own nothing and have barely a cent to my name. At times I am filled with a deep remorse and sense of shame for not having more, but then I stop and see it for what it really is. I have 14 years of memories living and travelling around the world. I really am very wealthy.
What is more important the stuff or the memories? that is why our tagline is “It’s all about the memories” Just ask yourself “Is the sacrifice bringing me a more enriching memory? If the answer is yes, then it is worth it!

jamie January 1, 2011 at 11:12 pm

what about dancing to cyndi lauper in the jungles of vietnam? that would be fun.
we were lucky in that we met traveling, but on all the other points they have been relevant at one time or another for me. good on you for going out and finding that “something”!

Christy @ Ordinary Traveler January 2, 2011 at 1:35 am

I love this post! It’s so true now that I think about it. Like you, I have always known this is something I HAVE to do, instead of just something that I want. I definitely notice in recent years that my lust for travel has put a strain on some of my relationships. But I meet so many like minded people while I’m on the road, which makes me realize this is where I’m meant to be. I’m super excited for 2011 and what our traveling futures hold! Happy New Year, girl!

Lorna - the roamantics January 2, 2011 at 1:50 am

oh kelly, i’m really feeling this too. your line- “These days I feel a force bigger than me tugging at me from all sides, as if it’s got me by the earlobes and won’t let go until I listen and accept.” i absolutely understand. my choice is not making sense to so many right now, and i am sacrificing BIG, but i have to do it. the alternative feels like an even bigger sacrifice, right? thanks for sharing this- it’s really helpful. agree with christy that meeting like-minded peeps helps. happy new year & looking forward to meeting in person at tbex!

Kelly January 2, 2011 at 2:04 am

Happy New Year Christy!!! Hope you had a great night!!

Kelly January 2, 2011 at 2:05 am

Thanks Jamie… Am now putting Dancing to Cyndi Lauper in the jungles of Vietnam on my list of things to do!! haha.

Kelly January 2, 2011 at 2:10 am

Hey Lorna! It’s so hard to trust ourselves sometimes, at least for me. But I just know there’s no way I could be happy if I don’t take that leap. Thailand is calling me, as is a new business I’ve started.. and, well, I just can’t ignore that.
So good to hear someone else feels the same way I do. It can be hard, especially, when we feel our choices are inadvertedly hurting the ones we love.. in the end, though, we’ve got to make the most of the life we have. And we are! So, cheers to that!

Can’t WAIT to see you at tbex!

Cathy Sweeney January 2, 2011 at 3:08 am

Great post, Kelly. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Following your passion is a very good thing that you will not regret. I wish you all the best in your travels and adventures in 2011 and beyond!

Jade January 2, 2011 at 5:52 am

Totally and 100% agree with you- it is sacrifice, but ultimately the best kind. It is hard leaving things and people behind, but they will come back- the ones that matter always come back. Can’t wait to hear more about your journey.

Jim January 2, 2011 at 8:10 am

”But happiness is not something that comes to those who sit around and hope for it– rather, it’s given to those who go out and find it.”

Dunno about that Kelly… I guess there is an element of truth behind that. But I tend to feel it’s an attitude you adopt. You won’t find it if you sit around sure, but you may go out and try and seek it, but still not find it.
And don’t think of having to make sacrifices either. You’re just trading some things for others that give you greater satisfaction. Gee, make the best of what you have in life. Sure you give some things up so as to gain more .That’s what life is all about. The thing is, not to regret anything or any decision you make.

adventureswithben January 2, 2011 at 6:25 pm

I am forever thankful to everyone who allows me to travel – especially when I am gone for long periods of time for work. The friends and family back home who support you are so important. Thanks for the reminder.

Kelly January 2, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Caz, thank you so much for sharing this! I think you’re absolutely right– seeing the ones you love ever so often makes you enjoy the special time that you have. I know that in my relationship, I am happier when my partner is happy, and if that means he wants to go off and do his thing somewhere else, then, I am happy to at least have shared the time that we have. Unfortunately, he doesn’t quite see it in the same light. It’s tricky… part of him does, and the other part is, essentially, mourning me as if I’m already gone, even though I don’t leave for another two months.
I feel this time in my life quite transitional, and it’s nice to know others do as well. Thanks again for stopping in… may this year be a great year for us!

Kelly January 2, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Thanks guys, this really did boost me up. I guess right now it comes down to staying to keep someone else happy, or going because I know I will do nothing but regret it if I don’t. So, really, it’s not much of a choice at all!

Marcella January 4, 2011 at 12:20 am

This is a lovely and thoughtful post Kelly 🙂 Happy New Year!

Kelly January 4, 2011 at 4:44 am

xoxoxo Happy New Year to you my sweets! Miss you!

Kristin January 5, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Very good article. I struggle with and embrace the *same* things. Your point that the friends and family will always be there is so true. At first I was afraid that they would get tired of me and all this transition – like they would stop picking me up from the airport or letting me sleep at their house, but they never did.

You are very brave for continuing to follow your heart and leave behind the so comfortable and so family. Is it sacrifice though or is it surrender (which seems a little more gentle to me) to following your life’s purpose? Either way – Thank you so much for this article. I read it as words of comfort and inspiration.

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